so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
