u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
