Screwed.edu
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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