i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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