I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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