My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
