Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
