I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
