sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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