I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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