he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
