fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
