I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
