He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize