Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How does one acquire holy water?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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