All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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