please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
