Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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