she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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