we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize