He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please come you make the beer taste better
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
