Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
