Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
