TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
