you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
