don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
