This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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