After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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