Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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