my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
