Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Vodka?
Forever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
