Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
