we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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