This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
