No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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