where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
