So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
