you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
