please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
