in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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