they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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