I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
