i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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