the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize