Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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