Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
