For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
