BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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