My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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