Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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