TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
two words: eviction party
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize