He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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