i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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