my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
