Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
