The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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