2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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