So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
