Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize