You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
