marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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