Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
