it hurts more in the daytime
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
