i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
