I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
