I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
