I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
