You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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